Senioritis: SYNOPSIS With SONGS

Overview

Synopsis with songs

Downloads & Contact

SETTING:

A city in the Pacific Northwest, in the late 1990s. Much of the action takes place in and around Polk High School, which serves a mostly affluent neighborhood. Other locations include a 7-ELEVEN parking lot, a federal prison, a bench outside the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas, a small diner in Nevada, and a gutter in Mazatlan, Mexico.

CHARACTERS:

JACK MILLER (Ezra Holbrook): 18-year old high school senior from an affluent family. A good looking and charming young man, but a little defensive about his small size. Funny, smart and popular, he is involved in sports and is also the student body president. Admired and liked by his peers, but not popular with the teachers and staff, due to his cutting and often inappropriate sense of humor and the interference of his attorney mother. Has a quick temper and can be hurtful.

LAWRENCE JACKSON (Redray Frazier): 18-year old high school senior. Classmate and close friend of Jack’s. Known as a nice kid, he is a churchgoer and a star athlete on the football team. Jack looks up to the larger and more athletic Lawrence. Though Jack has more money, Lawrence is cooler and more admired.

JENNY WHITE (Rachel Coddington): 17-year old high school junior and Jack’s girlfriend. An excellent student and determined to attend a good college. She is warm, thoughtful and has a great sense of humor, though is often exasperated with Jack’s behavior.

FUCK DUDE (Ellen Louise Osborn): 16-year old high school junior and posse member. Her real name is Nan and she’s a sweet, stoner “hippie chick”. Starts (and often ends) every sentence with “Fuck, dude...”, so is referred to as Fuck Dude by her friends (but not to her face). Met Jack in middle school and thinks of him as a brother. 

GURTZ (Pete Ficht): 17-year old high school senior. Part of Jack’s group of friends (aka “the posse”). He is an anti-social stoner and a poor student, but with his friends he is mellow, agreeable and loyal. 

ALEX LEE (David Ricardo): 16-year old high school junior and posse member. A gentle, bright kid with large glasses and excellent grades. Nerdy, always carrying a giant armful of overflowing folders, notebooks and textbooks. Looks up to Jack for his academic prowess and charm.

BANDLEADER (Pete Ficht): Musician, early 20’s. A smart-ass slacker, he leads the band and assists in telling the story and moving things along.

IRENE HUNT (Lucynda Beth Thompson): Principal, 40s. Hard-working and long-suffering high school principal at Polk High, with a flickering flame of positivity and enthusiasm still remaining. She is eager to sweep any scandals under the rug. 

COACH YANARELLA (Stan Hall): Football coach, 30s. Likes Jack and has taken on the task of mentoring him. Favors tight gym shorts and a bushy mustache. A little creepy.

MR. IMMEL (Ned Folkerth): Teacher, 50s. Mousy and easily flustered history teacher. He’s overweight and wears thick glasses.

LOIS (Little Sue): 7-ELEVEN clerk, 40s. High school dropout and a heavy smoker unhappily working a dead end job.

GIL (Ned Folkerth): Cook and owner of Dessert Cafe, 50s

ARLENE (Rachel Coddington): Gil’s wife and a waitress at the Dessert Cafe, 50s

SALLY (Ellen Louise Osborn): a waitress at the Dessert Cafe, late teens

GRAHAM (Stan Hall): a customer at the Dessert Cafe, 60s

MARNIE (Little Sue): a customer at the Dessert Cafe, 60s

TAGGERT (Steve Wilkinson): prison administrator, 50s

OTTO: a prisoner, 20s

MARCO: janitor at the Tropicana Hotel, 60s

RAMIREZ: prison guard, 40s

OFFICER DELONG: cop, 30s

OFFICER WALKER: cop, 50s

MARGE, school security guard, 30s

ACT ONE

The setting is a city in the Pacific Northwest, in the late 1990s. The show opens with Senioritis, the scene-setting title song, performed by the house band (who remain on stage during the course of the show). It’s sung by the BANDLEADER, a smart-ass slacker in his early 20s who occasionally interacts with the characters and audience during the show. We see yearbook images projected on a large screen showing the main characters, as well as other images from the 1990s. 

Play Senioritis

REMINDER: These recordings are DEMOS, not finished product. We will be doing full-band recordings sometime soon…

BANDLEADER: OOO OOO OOO / OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO
OOO OOO OOO / OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO

THIS IS THE SONG THAT STARTS OFF THE BIG SHOW
THIS IS THE SONG THAT I HOPE WE ALL KNOW
THIS IS THE SHOW THAT’S NOTHING LIKE STREISAND
THIS IS THE SHOW THAT’S SOMEWHERE LIKE PORTLAND
I COULD TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE
(DON’T BORE US, GET TO THE CHORUS!)
I COULD SELL YOU ON THE BOYS NEXT DOOR
(DON’T BORE US, GET TO THE CHORUS!) 
SENIORITIS, SENIORITIS
WILL SOMETHING EXCITE US? 
WILL NOTHING DELIGHT US?
WILL SOMEONE INDICT US? 
WILL NO ONE UNITE US?
THIS WAS THE TIME BEFORE KIDS HAD CELL PHONES
THIS WAS THE TIME BEFORE THE GAME OF THRONES
THIS WAS THE PLACE WITH HIPPIES AND LOGGERS
THIS WAS THE PLACE BEFORE TECH AND BLOGGERS
IF THEY GET BORED, MIGHT DO SOMETHING BAD
(DON’T WHORE US, GET TO THE CHORUS!)
YOU THINK YOU’RE BORED? THEY’RE WAITING TO GRAD
(DON’T WHORE US, GET TO THE CHORUS!)
SENIORITIS, SENIORITIS
WILL SOMETHING EXCITE US? 
WILL NOTHING DELIGHT US?
WILL SOMEONE INDICT US? 
WILL NO ONE UNITE US?


YOU’RE PROB’LY THINKING WE HAVE A BIG EXPLANATION
MIGHT TELL YOU ABOUT IT SOME TIME, AFTER VACATION
SUMMER VACATION…
SENIORITIS, SENIORITIS
WILL SOMETHING EXCITE US? 
WILL NOTHING DELIGHT US?
WILL SOMEONE INDICT US? 
WILL NO ONE UNITE US?
OOO OOO OOO / OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO
OOO OOO OOO / OOO OOO OOO OOO OOO

As Senioritis ends, we are introduced to  JACK and LAWRENCE, who are cruising around in Jack’s car. They are both successful and popular seniors at Polk High, located in an affluent neighborhood. Their humorous banter about school and prom takes a dark turn at the end of the scene, as they casually put on ski masks and exit their car to commit an armed robbery at Baskin-Robbins. 

The next scene starts with the song Urban Legends, sung by the students and staff of Polk High after Jack has just given an outrageous “comedic” speech, in his role as student class president. The song reinforces Jack’s legend as the funny irreverent kid, admired by his peers and disliked by the school staff. 

Play Urban Legends

KIDS: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
STAFF: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
KIDS: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
STAFF: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
 
FUCK DUDE: HOLY SHIT, CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT JACK JUST DID
IMMEL: WE GOT REAMED BY A FUCKING SMART ASS KID
ALEX: SO DAMN FUNNY, REALLY GOT TO THE STAFF
HUNT: LITTLE PRICK, LET’S SEE WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH
 
JENNY: HIS JOKES WERE OUTRAGEOUS
GURTZ: BUT LAUGHS WERE CONTAGIOUS!
HUNT: SO DAMN DISRESPECTFUL
COACH: BUT THIS KID IS SUCCESSFUL!
 
ALL: HE’LL BE AN URBAN LEGEND FROM NOW ON
IT’LL LIVE ON EVEN AFTER HE’S GONE
YOU CAN’T STOP THEM OR ASK WHY
BECAUSE URBAN LEGENDS NEVER DIE

 
KIDS: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
STAFF: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
 
LAWRENCE: JUST LIKE JACK, ALWAYS TAKING IT TOO FAR
IMMEL: THE THINGS HE SAID, THAT KID CAN REALLY SCAR
ALEX: CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR THE KIDS ON THE SCHOOL BUS
HUNT: COMPLAIN TO HIS PARENTS AND THEY’LL SUE US
 
GURTZ: THAT’S HOW YOU REPRESENT!
JENNY: BUT HE’S THE CLASS PRESIDENT
COACH: IT’S NOT SUCH A BIG THING
IMMEL: THAT’S ‘CAUSE YOU’RE ENABLING
ALL: HE’LL BE AN URBAN LEGEND FROM NOW ON
IT’LL LIVE ON EVEN AFTER HE’S GONE
YOU CAN’T STOP THEM OR ASK WHY
BECAUSE URBAN LEGENDS NEVER DIE

 
LAWRENCE: DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT?
GURTZ: PHIL COLLINS WATCHING A FRIEND OF HIS DROWN?
JENNY: HOOK ON THE HANDLE WHEN THE CAR BROKE DOWN?
ALEX: STOLE A KIDNEY FROM A PASSED OUT STUDENT?
FUCK DUDE: RICHARD GERE AND SOMETHING WITH A RODENT?
ALL: RODENT, RODENT, RODENT
 
JACK: I’LL BE AN URBAN LEGEND FROM NOW ON
IT WILL LIVE ON EVEN AFTER I’M GONE
YOU CAN’T STOP THEM OR ASK WHY
BECAUSE URBAN LEGENDS NEVER DIE
URBAN LEGENDS NEVER DIE
URBAN LEGENDS NEVER DIE
URBAN LEGENDS NEVER DIE

 
KIDS: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
STAFF: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
KIDS: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?
STAFF: DID YOU HEAR IT, DID YOU SEE IT?

After his controversial speech, Jack basks in the admiration of his friends and receives a mild rebuke from COACH YANARELLA, a supportive teacher. He then goes to meet with a very unhappy PRINCIPAL HUNT. She wishes to give him an extended period of detention, but through his charm and the unspoken threat of intervention from his attorney mother, he gets away with a token punishment. 

In the next scene, we see Jack and Lawrence in an SUV (which turns out to be stolen) with their close friends ALEX, GURTZ and FUCK DUDE, aka “the posse”. Jack and Lawrence reveal to their friends that they have been having a blast committing a string of armed robberies and are now heading to do another. Gurtz, while an anti-social stoner and burnout, balks at this and exits the car. “Good kid” Alex surprisingly decides to go along, while Fuck Dude (a sweet hippie chick, whose real name is Nan) tries to resist, but remains in the car. As she waits for them to get back, she sings I’m Like (All of You) concerning her conflicted feelings about Jack’s behavior.

Play I’m Like (All of You) (Part 1)

FUCK DUDE: I KNOW JACK CAN BE LOUD AND CRUDE
BUT AT THE SPEECH, NOBODY BOOED
THE STUFF HE SAID WAS REALLY RUDE
IT’S NOT LIKE I’M SOME DRIED-UP PRUDE
 
I’M LIKE ALL, I’M LIKE ALL
ALL OF YOU, ALL OF YOU...

 
YOU KNOW JACK HAS AN ATTITUDE
STAY AWAY WHEN HE’S IN THAT MOOD
HE’LL NEVER BACK DOWN FROM THAT FIGHT
WHY AM I HELPING? IT’S NOT RIGHT!
 
I’M LIKE ALL, I’M LIKE ALL
ALL OF YOU, ALL OF YOU...
(solo and hippie dancing)

Fuck Dude’s lament is interrupted by the guys excitedly coming back from the robbery. They quickly drive off, with Fuck Dude at the wheel, as she finishes her song.

Play I’m Like (All of You) (Part 2)

FUCK DUDE: FUCK, DUDE, HE ALWAYS GETS AWAY WITH IT
FUCK, DUDE, MOM IS THERE TO CLEAN UP HIS SHIT
FUCK, DUDE, I JUST WANT TO HANG OUT, HAVE FUN
FUCK, DUDE, THEN HE PULLS OUT A MASK AND GUN
FUCK, DUDE, FUCK THIS... I’M FUCKED
(solo and more hippie dancing)

HE’S LIKE ALL, HE’S LIKE ALL
ALL OF YOU, ALL OF YOU…

We then catch up with a despondent Gurtz, smoking a joint outside the local 7-ELEVEN. After a brief conversation with LOIS, the loser store clerk, he sings Too Young For This Shit. The song details his years of drug abuse and bad behavior, but he realizes that even with all that baggage he’s not ready to join in on Jack and Lawrence’s crime spree. Lois sees something in Gurtz and joins in on the song.

Play Too Young For This Shit

GURTZ: WHEN I WAS TWO, STARTED ON ELMER’S GLUE
AND BY AGE SIX, PUT WEED IN BROWNIE MIX
BY THE YEAR OF EIGHT I WAS NEVER STRAIGHT
EVEN TRIED TO SNORT SOME AMYL NITRATE
THEN WHEN I WAS TWELVE, I DID SOME HUFFIN’
SHARED A CRACK PIPE WITH MY SECOND COUSIN
SPENT A YEAR OR SO TRYING TO BE CLEAN
BUT SMOKED HEROIN WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN
PLAYED D & D, A WIZARD AND AN ELF
BUT USUALLY, I HUNG OUT BY MYSELF
I PLAYED BASS GUITAR AND ROCKED OUT TO GRUNGE
STARTING HANGING WITH JACK AND THEM AT LUNCH
REALLY MADE ME FEEL COOL
LIKE THERE WERE NO DAMN RULES
IN ROADHOUSE, LIKE SWAYZE
JACK GETS PRETTY CRAZY
I JUST CAN’T EVEN HANDLE IT
I’M TOO FUCKING YOUNG FOR THIS SHIT
WE PUT A LIT BAG OF CRAP ON A DOOR MAT
LOIS: Classic. I learned the hard way.
GURTZ: SMASHED SOME MAILBOXES FROM A CAR WITH A BAT
LOIS: Is that what happened to my Hummel figurines?
GURTZ: JACK PUT FIREWORKS IN THE BUTT OF A CAT
LOIS: That could have been Whiskers!!
GURTZ: AND WE WENT ALONG WITH THAT
LOIS: YES, YOU WENT ALONG WITH THAT
GURTZ: I’D NEVER RAT...
GURTZ: SO CALL ME A STONER
ANTI-SOCIAL LONER

LOIS: I GUESS IT’S NICE TO KNOW
THERE’S PLACES YOU WON’T GO

GURTZ: I THINK IT’S TIME FOR ME TO SPLIT
I’M TOO FUCKING YOUNG FOR THIS SHIT
THIS SHIT
THIS SHIT

Lois runs into the store to grab Gurtz an application, hoping to get him to join her working at the store, but he has already left.

Play Too Young For This Shit (Reprise)

LOIS: YOU DON’T THINK MUCH OF ME
BUT I GET A SALARY
AND IT’S SAFE AND STABLE
EAT ALL THE CORN DOGS I‘M ABLE
IN TWO YEARS I’M UP FOR A RAISE
I DON’T UNDERSTAND KIDS THESE DAYS
KIDS THESE DAYS

The Bandleader then lets us know that time has passed and that after a year and a half of robberies, Jack and Lawrence are about to end their crime career in bloody fashion. The boys are driving away from the scene of a robbery arguing about the disappointing haul, when Lawrence accidentally shoots himself in the testicle when putting his gun in his waistband. Jack freaks out as Lawrence bleeds profusely. They ditch the car and Jack walks Lawrence to the hospital before running off. 

Next we move to the home of JENNY, Jack’s warm and high-achieving girlfriend. She is doing her homework when Jack comes over to tell her that he cannot take her to the upcoming prom. As they argue, Jack reveals that he and Lawrence are the ones responsible for the crime spree. Jenny is furious, but Jack manages to calm her down. The two of them sing a duet of The First Time, where they are not quite on the same page about their attraction to new and risky behaviors.

Play The First Time

JENNY: SOMETIMES I WONDER, IS HE A GOOD GUY?
COULD DO ANYTHING IF HE’D ONLY TRY
HE’S GOT THIS ANGER, FROM WHERE DOES IT COME?
HE’S SO DAMN SMART, BUT DOES STUFF THAT’S SO DUMB
BUT WE’RE TOGETHER, I KNOW I’M IN LOVE
WILL I STICK WITH HIM, WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE?
I KNOW HE CAN ACT GOOFY AND FRANTIC
BUT WHEN HE’S WITH ME, HE’S SO ROMANTIC
 
I’LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST TIME
IT FELT DANGEROUS, ALMOST LIKE A CRIME
AND I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN

 
JACK: JENNY IS THE BEST, I DON’T DESERVE HER
CLINGING TO HER LIKE A LIFE PRESERVER
BUT THE THINGS I FEEL, SHE WON’T UNDERSTAND
I TRIED TO STOP, BUT IT GOT OUT OF HAND
 
I’LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST TIME
I WAS DANGEROUS, COMMITTING A CRIME
MY HEART WAS PUMPING, SO THRILLING
HOLD A LIFE IN MY HANDS, BUT NOT KILLING
AND I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN
JACK: I COULDN’T WAIT TO COUNT THE LOOT
JENNY: JACK FELL ASLEEP, HE LOOKED SO CUTE
JACK: I FELT POWER, NOT DOUBT OR FEARS
JENNY: I GUESS I SHED ONE OR TWO TEARS
 
JENNY: I’LL NEVER FORGET THE FIRST TIME
IT FELT DANGEROUS, ALMOST LIKE A CRIME
MY HEART WAS PUMPING, SO THRILLING
THERE’S A SPACE IN ME THAT NEEDED FILLING
AND I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN

JACK: AND I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN
BOTH: AND I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN

We next see Jack on an early morning run with Coach Yanarella, who offers him some unusual advice about life and love.

Then it’s Prom Night. Gurtz, Fuck Dude and Alex hang out with Jenny, who is looking for Jack. He appears, but is antsy and wants to leave. Exasperated, Jenny tells him to go home. She is comforted by Fuck Dude who sings After Prom to her. As the song goes on, Jenny, Gurtz and Alex join in, painting a picture of a world where everything always works out.

Play After Prom

FUCK DUDE: WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER, THERE’S A PLACE WE CAN GO
AND LAUGH ABOUT THESE TIMES, THAT WE’LL NEVER OUTGROW
WE’LL STAY UP ALL DAMN NIGHT AND THEN WATCH THE SUNRISE
AND ON THE WAY HOME, WE’LL STOP FOR COKES AND FRENCH FRIES
DON’T YOU WANT TO GO TO...

ALL: AFTER PROM...
JENNY: IT’LL ALWAYS WORK OUT?
ALL: AFTER PROM…
JENNY: IT’LL ALWAYS MAKE SENSE?
ALL: AFTER PROM, AFTER PROM…
 
FUCK DUDE: EV’RYTHING WILL BE CHILL, JUST HANGING WITH OUR FRIENDS
IT’S THE KIND OF GOOD TIME THAT YOU HOPE NEVER ENDS
NO NEED TO WORRY NOW, DON’T HAVE TO BE UPTIGHT
JENNY: DON’T THINK ‘BOUT TOMORROW, WHEN THERE’S ONLY TONIGHT
YES, I WANT TO GO TO...

ALL: AFTER PROM...
FUCK DUDE: IT’LL ALWAYS WORK OUT
ALL: AFTER PROM…
FUCK DUDE: IT’LL ALWAYS MAKE SENSE
ALL: AFTER PROM, AFTER PROM…
 
ALEX: ALWAYS DO JUST THE THINGS THAT WE WANT TO
NO ONE TO MAKE US WORK AT THE DRIVE-THROUGH
GURTZ: BE THE ONES WHO MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS
WE’LL HAVE AT LEAST SEVEN TELEVISIONS
 
FUCK DUDE: DON’T YOU WANT TO GO TO?
ALL: AFTER PROM...
FUCK DUDE: IT’LL ALWAYS WORK OUT
ALL: AFTER PROM, AFTER PROM…
JENNY: IT’LL ALWAYS MAKE SENSE
ALL: AFTER PROM, AFTER PROM…

After leaving the prom, Jack decides to go on the lam and hides out in Alex’s garage. Alex, who is also involved with the robberies, tells him that he needs to leave before his parents find him there. He thinks they should ask for help from Jack’s notorious attorney mother. Together they sing La-La-La-Litigious as Alex tries to get him to embrace her evil powers for their benefit. 

Play La-La-La-Litigious

POSSE: SUE, SUE. HELP YOU.
SUE, SUE. HELP YOU.
 
JACK: WHY DOES EV’RYONE HATE A PRICK LAWYER?
ALEX: THEY’RE AMERICAN AS OLD TOM SAWYER!
JACK: PEOPLE BITCH ABOUT MY MOM THE LAWYER
ALEX: TIL THEY TRIP AND FALL IN SOME JERK’S FOYER
 
POSSE: SUE, SUE. HELP YOU.
SUE, SUE. HELP YOU.
 
ALEX: THEY’LL BE LOOKING ‘ROUND FOR LEGAL COUNCIL
JACK: DIG IN THEIR SWEATPANTS, SEARCH FOR A PENCIL
ALEX: TAKING CONSULTS FROM LOSERS NAMED BERNIE
JACK: DESPERATELY NEED A PRICK ATTORNEY
JACK: SHE MAY LOOK ALL MEEK AND MILDNESS
ALEX: BUT SHE’LL SHOW THEM WHO’S THE WILDEST
JACK: JUST WATCH HER WHIP OFF HER GLASSES
ALEX: AND PUT HER FOOT UP THEIR ASSES
 
BOTH: IT’S A FEELING, ALMOST RELIGIOUS
WATCH HER BURN DOWN ALL OF THE BRIDGES
SHE SAID, “MY TALENT IS PRODIGIOUS
JACK BABY, YOU KNOW I’M LITIGIOUS”
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS
POSSE: SUE, SUE. HELP YOU.
SUE, SUE. HELP YOU.
 
ALEX: WHAT A ROLE MODEL, SHE SHAPED A GREAT KID
JACK: I’M DOING THE THINGS THAT THEY WISH THEY DID
ALEX: YOU KNOW WHERE TO STICK THAT CONDUCT REPORT
JACK: MESS WITH OUR BOY AND WE’LL SEE YOU IN COURT
JACK: WAIT TILL THEY SEE HER GET VICIOUS
ALEX: SHE’S NOT AT HOME DOING DISHES
JACK: THINK SHE LOOKS CONFUSED BY A FILE?
ALEX: THAT’S WHEN SHE’LL CAUSE A MISTRIAL
 
BOTH: IT’S A FEELING, ALMOST RELIGIOUS
WATCH HER BURN DOWN ALL OF THE BRIDGES
SHE SAID, “MY TALENT IS PRODIGIOUS
JACK BABY, YOU KNOW I’M LITIGIOUS”
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS

Jack declines to involve his parents and leaves. Alex, encouraged by the band, decides to ask her himself and continues the song on his own. He encourages the audience to sing along as the lights fade out…

Play La-La-La-Litigious (Reprise)

POSSE: SUE, SUE. HELP YOU. 
ALEX: WHO ME?
POSSE: YES, YOU!
 
ALEX: IT’S A FEELING, ALMOST RELIGIOUS
WATCH HER BURN DOWN ALL OF THE BRIDGES
SHE SAID, “MY TALENT IS PRODIGIOUS
ALEX BABY, YOU KNOW I’M LITIGIOUS”
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS
LA, LA, LA, LA - LA, LA, LITIGIOUS

ACT TWO 

Act Two starts with Jack on the run, hiding out in Mazatlan, Mexico and partying with a group of his high school friends who are there for a vacation. In his drunken state, he easily slips into a flashback taking place at the 7-ELEVEN. Lawrence, Gurtz, Alex and Fuck Dude are hanging outside goofing around as Jack struts out of the store brazenly displaying shoplifted food items. Lois comes out after him and they have a brief confrontation. After she leaves, Jack pulls out a gun to show his friends and talks about how fun it would be to scare Lois with it. Gurtz, Alex and Fuck Dude are uncomfortable and leave. Lawrence stays behind and mentions he has ski masks.

As the flashback ends, Jack sings Over the Border as he realizes that he’s gone too far over the line and can never return to the normal life his friends enjoy. Halfway through the song he has a hallucination of the posse (dressed in stereotypical Mexican outfits), as they attempt to comfort him.

Play Over the Border

JACK: SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE SPRING FORMAL
IT HELPS TO SEE THEM, ALMOST FELT NORMAL
I WAS ONCE LIKE THEM, SO DUMB AND BOVINE
NOW I’VE SEEN TOO MUCH, STEPPED OVER THE LINE
 
THEY DID NOT JUDGE OR CONDEMN
TOOK ME TO THE ATM
GUESS IT’S TIME FOR ONE LAST ROUND
THEN I’LL GO BACK UNDERGROUND
 
TO BE LIKE THEM NOW IS A TALL ORDER
THERE’S NO RETURN, I’M OVER THE BORDER
 
POSSE: SORRY FOR THIS RACIST, DUMB INTERPRETATION
BUT WE’RE JUST FIGMENTS OF HIS IMAGINATION
AND WITH THE LEVEL OF HIS INTOXICATION
WE GOT OFF EASY WITH THIS ABOMINATION
 
HE’S OVER THE BORDER
JACK: WILL I END UP IN JAIL?
POSSE: HE’S OVER THE BORDER
JACK: AND BECOME A TALL TALE?
POSSE: ÉL ES SOBRE LA FRONTERA
JACK: BACK HOME IN OUR TOWN, WILL THEY THINK OF ME?
LIVING ON THE RUN FROM A SMALL CRIME SPREE
 
SO ONE LAST ROUND OF GOODBYES
I’LL PUT BACK ON MY DISGUISE
COSTUMED LIKE I’M A LOSER
FIND A JOB, BE A SCHMOOZER
 
WORRIED WHAT THEY MIGHT TELL A REPORTER
WHEN THEY GO BACK HOME OVER THE BORDER

THEY’LL PROB’LY BLAME THIS ON A DISORDER
THERE’S NO RETURN, I’M OVER THE BORDER
OVER THE BORDER

Back at home, Jenny is doing homework in her room when Fuck Dude comes over with news of Jack’s misadventures in Mexico. Jenny acts as if she’s over him and Fuck Dude shares some inspirational pearls of wisdom.

We then find ourselves at the Dessert Cafe in Nevada, where Jack has found a job, the trust of the owners, and hope of a fresh start. The staff and customers share their optimism of a new day and sing Fresh Cup of Coffee and Jack joins in. The Bandleader walks over and encourages Jack to fill the audience in on how he got there. As Jack proudly recounts his adventures on the road, the Bandleader turns on the TV to show him a new episode of America’s Most Wanted featuring… Jack and Lawrence. Jack is thrilled, but when he sees the horrified looks of his new friends he hurriedly flees.

Play Fresh Cup of Coffee

Coffee
ALL: FRESH CUP OF COFFEE...
SALLY: You’re in luck!
 ALL: FRESH CUP OF COFFEE...
 SALLY: We have the best coffee in the world.
GRAHAM: What makes it the best?
SALLY: It’s from here.
 ALL: FRESH CUP OF COFFEE, FRESH CUP OF COFFEE...
  
SALLY: IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY
TIME FOR A FRESH START
WHATEVER WAS IN YOUR WAY
ISN’T THERE TODAY
 
ARLENE: THE CLEAN PLATES ARE OUT
THE CUPS ARE SPARKLING
GIL: FRESHLY CUT BACON ON A NEWLY SCRAPED GRILL
MARNIE, ARLENE & GIL: THE SUN IS SHINING IN YOUR FACE
THE DAY IS JUST STARTING
 
ALL: FRESH CUP OF COFFEE, FRESH CUP OF COFFEE

JACK
: POURING HOT COFFEE INTO A LITTLE WHITE CUP
ADD CREAM AND WATCH IT ERUPT
THE STEAM HITS YOUR FACE
THE SMELLS HITS YOUR NOSE
IT’S THE START OF A NEW DAY
A NEW PLACE WITH A NEW FACE ON THE WORLD
I THINK I’LL STAY HERE FOREVER
 
ALL: IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY
TIME FOR A FRESH START
WHATEVER WAS IN YOUR WAY
ISN’T THERE TODAY
WHATEVER WAS IN YOUR WAY
ISN’T THERE TODAY

After a pleasant exchange with his co-workers, Jack happily serves some fresh coffee.

Play Fresh Cup of Coffee (Reprise) 

JACK: FRESH CUP OF COFFEE…
ALL: FRESH CUP OF COFFEE...

We then see Lawrence in a TV room in prison also watching the same episode of America’s Most Wanted, to the delight of his fellow prisoners. Feeling that they have missed the point, he sings them the cautionary tale Don’t Shoot Yourself (In the Balls) and they join in on the choruses. After the song ends, he bitterly imagines Jack relaxing on a sunny beach in Mexico.

Play Don’t Shoot Yourself (In the Balls)

LAWRENCE: RECENTLY I’VE HAD A LONG TIME TO REFLECT
LOOKING BACK AT A LIFE THAT’S BEEN WRECKED
SO HERE’S SOMETHING I’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL
DON’T EVER SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE BALLS
I TRIED TO BE GOOD, BUT I WAS LED ASTRAY
MY GOOD REPUTATION WASHED AWAY
I’VE SPENT MUCH TIME IN THE CHURCH AND VESTIBULE
AND NOW I’M MISSING A TESTICLE
 
NOW HERE’S THE THING ABOUT GUNS
NOT IN THE WAISTBAND OR BETWEEN YOUR BUNS
A COOL, CONFIDENCE BOLSTER
BUT ALWAYS KEEP YOUR PIECE IN A HOLSTER
 
LAWRENCE: SO DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T SHOOT!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T SHOOT
LAWRENCE: DON’T SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE BALLS!
PRISONERS: ‘SELF IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: DON’T SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE BALLS!
PRISONERS: 'SELF IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE BALLS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: OH, IN THE BALLS!        
PRISONERS: IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE NUTS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE NUTS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE ‘NADS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE ‘NADS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE SACK!            
PRISONERS: IN THE SACK!
LAWRENCE: AND THE BOLLOCKS!        
PRISONERS: AND THE BOLLOCKS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE SCROTE!            
PRISONERS: IN THE SCROTE!
LAWRENCE: AND THE NUGGETS!        
PRISONERS: AND THE NUGGETS!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T YA SHOOT!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T YA SHOOT!
LAWRENCE: OH, YOURSELF!            
PRISONERS: YES, YOURSELF!
LAWRENCE: IN THE BALLS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT…    
LAWRENCE: NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU’VE RUN WILD OR RAMPAGED
THAT FUCKING SAFETY SHOULD BE ENGAGED
STOP ACTING LIKE YOU’RE WILL SMITH OR PACINO
IN A MOVIE BY TARANTINO
 
AND WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAZE
WITH GANGSTERS HOLDING THEIR PISTOL SIDEWAYS?
LAWRENCE: SO DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T SHOOT!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T SHOOT
LAWRENCE: DON’T SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE BALLS!
PRISONERS: ‘SELF IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: DON’T SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE BALLS!
PRISONERS: 'SELF IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE BALLS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: OH, IN THE BALLS!        
PRISONERS: IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE NUTS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE NUTS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE ‘NADS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE ‘NADS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE SACK!            
PRISONERS: IN THE SACK!
LAWRENCE: AND THE BOLLOCKS!        
PRISONERS: AND THE BOLLOCKS!
LAWRENCE: IN THE SCROTE!            
PRISONERS: IN THE SCROTE!
LAWRENCE: AND THE NUGGETS!        
PRISONERS: AND THE NUGGETS!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T YA SHOOT!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT!        
PRISONERS: DON’T YA SHOOT!
LAWRENCE: OH, YOURSELF!            
PRISONERS: YES, YOURSELF!
LAWRENCE: IN THE BALLS!            
PRISONERS: IN THE BALLS!
LAWRENCE: I SAID DON’T SHOOT…    
YOURSELF...
Well, anywhere really...
BUT ESPECIALLY NOT
IN THE BALLS...

But when we go back to Jack on the run, we find he is broke, hungry and sleeping on a bench outside the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas, where MARCO, a janitor, tries to shoo him off. Jack tries to reach his parents, but gets their machine. Marco sympathetically gives him some more money for food. Exhausted and discouraged, but bolstered by his kindness, Jack asks Marco to call security so he can turn himself in.

We then switch to the school auditorium as Principal Hunt is giving a welcome speech to the new students, insisting that they not dwell on last year’s scandal and move forward together. She sings Let’s Move On and is joined by Coach and Mr. Immel as they add a few words of warning at the close. 

Play Let’s Move On

HUNT: WE DO OUR BEST AT PHS
TO SEE YOU ON YOUR WAY
SOME VERY BAD, BAD APPLE TYPES
SHOULD NEVER SPOIL YOUR DAY
A SMARTYPANTS WENT WAY TOO FAR
WE DID ALL THAT WE COULD
STERN TALKS AND FORCED APOLOGIES
HE WAS SUCH A HOOD
LET’S MOVE ON
PUT IT ALL BEHIND US
LET’S MOVE ON
NO NEED TO REMIND US
 
NO ONE WANTS TO BLAME THE PARENTS NOW
THEY ALWAYS BLAME THE SCHOOLS
WE’RE STUCK WITH YOU TILL THE FINAL BELL
THEN UNLEASH THE GHOULS!
LET IT BE A LIFE LESSON LEARNED
RATHER PAINFULLY
JAIL IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, BOYS
THEY’LL RAPE YOU ANALLY
LET’S MOVE ON
PUT IT ALL BEHIND US
LET’S MOVE ON
NO NEED TO REMIND US
WE’LL SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG
UNDER THE RUG, UNDER THE RUG
THINGS ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT
I’M NOT AFRAID TO DISCIPLINE YOU
IF YOUR PARENTS DON’T SUE
LET’S MOVE ON
PUT IT ALL BEHIND US
LET’S MOVE ON
NO NEED TO REMIND US
 
LET’S MOVE ON
PUT IT ALL BEHIND US
LET’S MOVE ON
NO NEED TO REMIND US
WE’LL SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG
UNDER THE RUG, UNDER THE RUG
WE’LL SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG
 
IMMEL: SO DON’T DARE MESS WITH ME
I’LL START TESTING YOUR PEE
COACH: WE’RE GONNA KEEP ORDER
OR OVER THE BORDER
IMMEL: I’LL SEARCH ALL YOUR LOCKERS
YOU’LL SHIT IN YOUR DOCKERS
COACH: YOU’LL BE WALKING LIKE LURCH
FROM YOUR CAVITY SEARCH
IMMEL: EV’RY DAY’S DETENTION
THAT GET YOUR ATTENTION?
 
HUNT: SO LET THIS BE A WARNING
WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING
NO ONE IS SAFE FROM SUSPENSION
IF IT THREATENS MY PENSION!

Back again briefly to Jack who is in prison awaiting trial, He is meeting with TAGGERT, a prison administrator, to discuss his ongoing problems with authority. Jack finds that his high school hijinks won’t cut it in prison and he briefly sings After Prom (Reprise) with Taggert.

Play After Prom (Reprise)

JACK: I REALLY WANT TO GO TO
AFTER PROM
TAGGERT: NEVER GETTING BACK TO
JACK: AFTER PROM, AFTER PROM…
TAGGERT: BUT THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS
JACK: AFTER PROM, AFTER PROM…

We then see Jenny, waiting at a table in a prison visiting room. Jack enters and they have an awkward conversation about their respective futures. She tries to gently say goodbye and they sing The First Time (Reprise) together. Jack’s callousness toward his victims angers Jenny, but they make peace by the end. 

Play The First Time (Reprise)

JENNY: I’M SORRY ABOUT MISSING THE TRIAL
GUESS I LIVE IN A STATE OF DENIAL
WANTED TO SEE YOU, BUT NOT A SMART MOVE
JACK: GLAD YOU STUCK BY ME,  YOU’VE NOTHING TO PROVE
JENNY: Prove? What are you talking about? I’m not on your side. What you did was horrible!
JENNY: THINK OF THE VICTIMS,  THEY WERE TRAUMATIZED
JACK: THESE WERE STUPID PRANKS,  DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES
DON’T GIVE UP ON ME , I’M STILL A GOOD GUY
JENNY: YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, I’M SAYING GOODBYE
I’LL NEVER FORGET THE LAST TIME
SEEING YOU IN HERE, LOCKED UP IN YOUR PRIME
MY HEART IS BREAKING, OR SOMETHING
THERE WAS LOVE FOR YOU, NOW I FEEL NOTHING
AND I’LL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN
JACK: AND I’LL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN?
JENNY:  NO, I’LL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN

After Jenny exits, Jack wonders if this the end for them. The Bandleader comes over and reminds him that she still doesn’t know everything and initiates another flashback.

We are now in a second flashback at the 7-ELEVEN. Jack again shoplifts from the store and brags to his friends. Lois comes out to confront him and they get in a scuffle. Jack punches her in the face just as a police car goes by. The cops grab him as Gurtz, Alex and Lawrence yell at them, but they subdue Jack and arrest him. He tries to charm his way out of it to no avail and they take him to jail.

As the flashback ends, the Bandleader reveals that Jack managed to get out of the assault charges through his mom’s intervention. The Bandleader then sets up a very brief trial scene for Jack, Fuck Dude and Alex. As the JUDGE (in voiceover) starts to sentence them, Jack offers a rationale for his crimes by singing Based on a True Story. After the song ends, Jack gives a smirking apology and the lights black out for the end of the act... 

Play Based on a True Story

JACK: I’M NOT REALLY SURE HOW WE GOT HERE
STEPS THAT WE TOOK ARE VAGUE AND UNCLEAR
JUST A WAY FOR US TO HAVE SOME FUN
NEVER MEANT TO UPSET ANYONE
I KNOW I’M NOT TOTALLY BLAMELESS
BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT I’D BE FAMOUS
SICK TO DEATH OF BEING THE GOOD BOY
I GUESS SCARING PEOPLE BROUGHT ME JOY
THERE WON’T BE A CLEAR EXPLANATION
FOR THESE POINTLESS CRIMES AND CASTRATION
NOW MY LIFE BELONGS TO ALL OF YOU
EVERYTHING YOU’VE HEARD TONIGHT IS TRUE
 
I'M RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
AND FODDER FOR DEADLINES
THOUGH SOME PARTS WERE SORT OF GORY
IT’S ALL BASED ON A TRUE STORY
AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY
WHEN YOU’RE BASED ON A TRUE STORY
WHEN YOU’RE BASED ON A TRUE STORY
TRUE STORY
YOU CAN TRY TO REPRIMAND ME
BUT YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME
TELL YOURSELF THE FUCKED THINGS I DID
COULDN’T BE DONE BY A GOOD KID
IT TOOK YOU SO DAMN LONG TO SEE
THE BIG LIE AT THE HEART OF ME
THE HEART OF ME, THE HEART OF ME
 
I'M RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
AND FODDER FOR PUNCHLINES
GO OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY
‘CAUSE I’M BASED ON A TRUE STORY
NEVER ADMIT THAT YOU’RE SORRY
WHEN YOU’RE BASED ON A TRUE STORY
WHEN YOU’RE BASED ON A TRUE STORY
TRUE STORY
TRUE STORY
TRUE STORY

Lights come back up for the curtain call. The band starts playing an instrumental version of Based on a True Story as the cast members come out dressed in orange prison jumpsuits. As Tom finishes his bow, the scene changes behind them to a version of the set for Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock video. As the band breaks into America’s Most Wanted, the cast members reveal that they are wearing the black & white striped Jailhouse Rock costumes. Jack, Lawrence and Alex sing about their experiences in prison and Jack reveals that he is serving a 12-year sentence, but is still delighted by his notoriety. The cast all sing and dance as the show ends.

Play America’s Most Wanted

 

JACK: JUST ONE LAST WORD BEFORE YOU ALL GO
WE THOUGHT THERE WERE SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
LAWRENCE: YOU MIGHT THINK THIS WHOLE THING WOULD SHAME US
BUT UNLIKE YOU SLOBS, NOW WE’RE FAMOUS!
ALEX: ANY OF YOU EVER ON TV?
STARRED ON A SHOW LIKE THOSE TWO AND ME?
JACK: WE’RE MORE FAMOUS THAN CAIN AND ABEL
SYNDICATED ON BASIC CABLE
 
JACK, LAWRENCE, ALEX: SO VALUABLE, THEY KEEP US ALL LOCKED UP
BECAUSE WE’RE AMERICA’S MOST HUNTED
WE’RE ALWAYS READY FOR OUR BIG CLOSE UP
BECAUSE WE’RE AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
WANTED
JACK: THERE’S PLENTY OF TIME FOR REPENTANCE
WHEN YOU GET TWELVE YEARS FOR A SENTENCE
LAWRENCE: YOU CAN FIND PEACE AND SANCTUARY
WITH A FEW DAYS IN SOLITARY
ALEX: THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR MEN WITH VISION
YOU’LL FIND LOTS OF US LOCKED IN PRISON
JACK: THE WAY THINGS LOOK FOR NEXT CENTURIES
WE’LL ALL BE IN PENITENTIARIES
 
JACK, LAWRENCE, ALEX: SO VALUABLE, THEY KEEP US ALL LOCKED UP
BECAUSE WE’RE AMERICA’S MOST HUNTED
WE’RE ALWAYS READY FOR OUR BIG CLOSE UP
BECAUSE WE’RE AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
WANTED

LAWRENCE: IT’S A PARTY IN THE PEN
ALEX: YOU CAN DANCE WITH US, IF YOU’RE MEN
GURTZ: CONVICT, CROOK, CULPRIT, FELON
COACH: GANGSTER, HOODLUM AND HOOLIGAN
IMMEL: LAWBREAKER, OFFENDER, THUG
TAGGERT: DESPERADO AND UGLY MUG
LOIS: DELINQUENT, MOBSTER, OUTLAW
FUCK DUDE: EX-CON, HOOD, JAILBIRD AND SCOFFLAW
JENNY: FUGITIVE EXTRADITION
HUNT: OH MY GOD - A POLITICIAN!
ALL: SO VALUABLE, THEY KEEP US ALL LOCKED UP
BECAUSE WE’RE AMERICA’S MOST HUNTED
WE’RE ALWAYS READY FOR OUR BIG CLOSE UP
BECAUSE WE’RE AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
WANTED

THE END
 

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